Visiting Teaching

The Lord, and my Heavenly Parents are reminding me of something. That there are nice people in the church, and they honestly do their best to try to understand things.

Had a honest chat with my visiting teachers on Heavenly Mother. I can't keep it in. It hurts to much to do that anymore. I can't just keep it on the internet either. It must come out.

I do certainly say I love my visiting teachers. We are all at different points in our lives. Next time around I want to get to know them. I just wish I could untie my tounge (spelling?). I feel a little better talking to my visiting teachers about it. It relieved a lot of stress.

Now I'm not sorry for the rant, I have a feeling I don't have to be. We all have to just accept anger is apart of life. I mean God gets angry, I think its okay if I get angry, so long as it doesn't have a bad effect on me. I can't always say it doesn't.

The lesson was on Female identity, and coming to understand it. I think it would be so much easier if we just knew more about Heavenly Mother. One of my visiting teachers was talking about how there was lots of lost scriptures, and she feels robbed because there could be much in there about Heavenly Mother. She also brought up a good point that the scriptures we do have went through lots of translations so there could  have been things in there that have been changed from a very feminine perspective to a more masculine one.

It just relieves me to a point, that they know. And I'm not alone. They may see it differently then I, being the passionate person I am about bringing heavenly mother into the light, but they do understand where I am.

I should do my visiting teaching, and hopefully the women I visit, can be expressive about their own doubts and trials.

I'm just glad, I was honest, saying I've been having a long trial of faith. I really don't think its going to end any time soon, but I'm tired of wrestling with God, for my answers. I know that Heavenly Father can mention things about Heavenly Mother to me. I asked him to, but now I just want to hear it from her.