The appearance of Righteousness...not

I must address a possible criticism of this project. That I am trying to appear righteous, while secretly wanting to destroy the church.

That is never my intent. And those who think so, if there are any out there who think that way, will not change their minds. They have already judged me, and they shall earn their reward. And I never really want to appear as being righteous. I am simply trying to come to an answer on my own time, and own terms, rather then ones set forth by brethren, who don't know me. Plus I feel God wants me to do this. I do. And its just sending red balloons and wearing pink moccasins. Is it a statement yes, but nothing that people can't ignore.

I can see it now "Oh there is the crazy lady, with her red balloon and pink moccasins, ignore her."

Well at least I feel that if I am a crazy lady, I am my Heavenly Parent's crazy lady. But I do not, with God as my witness, want to appear as if I am being more righteous then others. Actually I am not.

For years I have tried to live by the book, exactly, literally and do everything the prophets said. I will always strive to keep exactly what I have kept. I will not drink (Kidney problems run high in my family, why would I kill myself slowly by drinking?). I will not smoke (Um, I was born premature, and because of that have asthma, definitely not going to do that, not to mention I can't come with in feet of a smoker or I have an asthma attack). So word of wisdom on the "Do not's" will be there.

I still believe in the atonement of Christ. Of course I do. It has gotten me through some terrible things. It is healing me of past pain, and helping me move on. I believe that the Holy Spirit is both comforter, and sanctifier (that is why we need to be confirmed and receive the Holy Spirit, who sanctifies us). I believe in that families can be together forever, even though I am not 100% certain of that fact. I so badly want it to be true. At least that I can be with my husband forever and ever.

I also believe that things aren't as they seem. We seem so sure everything is 100% set in stone, but things have changed, and things will change. The only thing set in stone, is the fact that we all need salvation. And that we are all seeking answers. Well I go back to the question of "Where did I come from?" And if I have a father in Heaven, I must have a mother, but I am so not content with just saying "I have a  mother there". I am more content with finding out more about her. I already know a lot about my Father in Heaven. It is time I come to know Mama.

And so no, not doing this for the appearance of righteousness. In fact I can hear the criticism, that I am going against the words of a prophet who said don't pray to her, by sending her messages on a balloon (as if that is akin to our ritualized prayer of Dear Heavenly Father...I thank thee, I ask thee, In Jesus Name Amen). Well it is not doctrine, I don't see any thing in the Scriptures that say go seek her, except the omission of that, doesn't necessarily mean we shouldn't do that. And even though Christ talks about him and the father, (over and over, and over again), doesn't necessarily mean that Christ doesn't want us to know our heavenly Mother.