I hate it, and I have to live through it. For the past few months I have been on BC to avoid it like the plague it is.
I have been taught over and over again Eve wasn't cursed. I wonder if that is what she thought when she started bleeding, and having cramps.
Blood. Men shun it. I think in this case we still live the Law of Moses in a slight way. We may not remove women from our congregations during their period, but I assume most men think it is unclean, therefore women are unclean.
Feminist Mormon Housewives has a temple project going on, calling every temple to see what their policy is about baptism and women who are menstruating. A lot don't let the girls, because it could contaminate the chlorinated water. At least that is the general gist.
No Wonder I hate it! I HATE IT! Really, I hate the idea of pregnancy too. Oh I have heard how joyful it is to have that baby, but the process of pregnancy is excruciately painful, and there is blood there too. But because there is a baby coming out, and not just blood, because the body decided to ovulate, and there was sperm to meet it, then that is considered wonderful! I really wonder if Eve truly thought it was that way, when she was going through it. I heard her be thankful for children. And of course when I have children, I will be thankful for them, but I after I am done having children. I will cut off that ability to have a period, and have kids. Therefore ending my abject misery. I mean it.
And if that is not a curse. I will say the abrupt "He shall rule over you" is a curse. Because it is taught in the church, to never end. To go on and on in the eternities. Father is the representative, Father is the creator, Father leads, presides, protects, and oh he gets the nurturing role too. It is all about Father, and not once, not once do we ever get to hear about mother, unless its convenient.
"We have a family in Heaven. We all come from Heavenly Parents. We have a Heavenly Father and a Heavenly Mother too. " That is how it starts. Then:
"Our Father in Heaven sent us here. He created our bodies..." Wait! He did what?! He created them, all by himself, he, him? The one thing we give to women, the creation of bodies, we can not possibly contribute to Heavenly Mother?!
Sometimes I think some women are right in saying that men have womb envy. And it shows big time, in Patriarchy, in the Bible. Anything creative. No its men, women are just vessels. Men are creators, women are the hotels for baby. But then wait, no women do create, but they create only as a vessel for the real true creator, that is *drum roll please!:
HEAVENLY FATHER
(slap forehead, and sigh)
And then I go back to I hate this. Its been an absolute traumatic experience for me. I am super surprised I am not having nightmares about it.
I wonder if I can even call myself a feminist at times. I wonder. Because there are times where I truly 100% hate myself, hate that I was even born. I don't think there really is a deeper meaning to any of that. I don't think it was because of some other traumatic childhood experience. IT WAS because of this damn menstruating thing. And then I really hate men. A lot!
And I will end this rant. I hate my period, I hate the idea of childbirth, and I hate patriarchy.
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